Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I've decided to form a group, W.A.S.T.S., which stands for Women Against See-Through Shirts. This epidemic must be stopped!

I remember in High School, only 10 short years ago, it was a total scandal when a girl wore a black see-through top with a black bra. People were gossiping the entire day about it and some people even made comments about the type of girl she must be.

Now it seems that all white, and light-colored shirts are paper thin and you are expected to wear any color bra besides white or beige.

Since when did the bra become the most appealing accessory?? I know that most actresses and singers like to show not only their bra, but sometimes their lack of underwear, but since when were they ever really considered role models? And, while watching What Not To Wear on TLC, I know that the hosts would agree with me...it's just tacky.

So, I'm calling all ladies to make a pledge to keep your bra (and underwear...but that's a whole other post) PRIVATE. Spread the word and help me raise awareness!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Where is the Love?

I think Koa has been feeling left out lately. When we first brought the boys home he took every chance he could to get in between us and the boys, but now he has began to accept them. He still insists on sitting on my lap whenever it is vacant, but he has began to do his part in caring for the boys.

keeping their boppys warm while they are being held.

making sure Carter is warm.

cleaning Cooper's face after a feeding.

He really has adjusted well, and I hope that eventually the boys will learn to love him as much as we do.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The curious case of Carter Salmond

You know how baby boys either look like the Gerber baby or like little old men?? I have one of each. Cooper's chubby cheeks scream 'I should be on the label of baby food,' while Carter is very slender and looks wise beyond his years.

As seen in the picture above, Carter was born with a full head of hair...until EXACTLY 4 weeks. That morning, I got both boys ready for their Dr. appt and we headed out. I stripped the boys down to their diapers, as required by military pediatricians, and noticed that Carter looked like he had a receding hairline...but I laughed it off and kept on with my day.

Later that night I made the comment to Eric about his hair line, and neither of us was very concerned. Then, the next morning...he was completely bald on top! I'm talking spit shined, catching the glare from the lights bald!

I racked my brain and was convinced that maybe I had scrubbed his head to hard when bathing him, but Cooper's hair was fine. I was also worried that he would follow the Arnold trend of being almost completely bald on top by age 25, but 1 month was a serious leap.

I'm happy to report that some peach fuzz has broken the surface today, and I promise to no longer make jokes about him being bald, or rubbing his head like a lamp and making wishes. But I will, however, make him sport some cute hats until his rug has comes in completely :o)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Unpaid Internship available, apply within

2nd pair of arms

Female (lesbians welcome, and even encouraged)
Experience with children preferred (but you won't be left on your own for quite some time b/c you could be a serial killer for all I know!)
Must have usable arms (as the boys are growing at an exponential rate)

Job Description:
Hold screaming babies
Feed screaming babies
Change diapers of screaming babies
Snuggle happy babies (when they are sleeping)

Being around me (and soaking up my awesomeness)
Room & Board (i.e. my couch, and scavenging for food b/c I don't cook)
Savings plan (since this experience is the best birth control on the market, you can save all that money to buy cute shoes and sushi)
Weight Loss Program (if there is no time to sleep, there is definitely no time to eat)
...did I mention being around me??

**Although there is no college credit offered, as of right now, the experiences that you encounter will aid in shaping you into either an amazing person that can deal with anything...or having a mental breakdown which inevitably will land you in a psych facility wearing a straight jacket while rocking back and forth in the fetal position talking about "the pretty birds."**

Friday, April 16, 2010

An ode to my peeps

Here is the birth announcement for the boys, for all of you that won't be getting one in the mail, and for those special folks that can't pull up Facebook at work (like Molly, the maker of the adorable blankets).

I purchased thses from Simply to Impress, and I have to say that I am impressed with the outcome!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hello and Goodbye

With the new addition of my boys, it was only a matter of time before I had to accept that things were changing, and I must welcome and bid farewell to many things in my life.

Hello Motherhood! Holy crap, I'm responsible for 2 tiny people...and myself!

Hello to "mommy belly" and all the saggy scarred skin that graces my mid-section. I know I've never had a model quality figure, but by welcoming this I can also begin to welcome in my "body I deserve" savings account to eventually put back everything where it belongs.

Hello again, caffeine! I hope you don't hold our 9 month absence against me...oh how I've missed you :o) And, I discovered a new RockStar drink that might be my new favorite, uncarbonated Lemonade (only 20 calories a can)!

Goodbye silence, because as soon as one of the boys is content he sends a sibliminal message to the other causing him to scream.

Goodbye sleep. We used to be good friends, before Nursing School and this pregnancy, but I'm sure we'll meet again soon...possibly in about 18 yrs.

Goodbye food...not because I don't seem to have time to eat, but because Koa has become a chow thief and so far has eaten over half of a bowl of spaghetti & a waffle as soon as I left the area. I told Eric to have a talk with Koa about what they do to chow theives in Ranger School, but I don't think he got the message.

Goodbye sanity, which was more than apparent when I referred to the boys as "Cooter" and "Carper."


My adorable birth announcements arrived today!! So, all my family and friends that read, and don't comment, send me your addresses to: way2cool2bcocky (at) gmail (dot) com, so you can increase the beauty of your refrigerators with the cuteness of my boys. (that was almost too sicky sweet to type, let alone read)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

My Sunday Blessings

I'm totally stealing this concept from fellow blogger & Army wife, Jeannie. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I wanted to give some shout outs!

First, and most important, I want to thank the savior of my sanity, Eric. He has been such a trooper and as soon as he gets home from work, he takes over caring for the boys and lets me get a much needed nap. I told him yesterday that I was overwhelmingly grateful for all his help, to which he replied, "they're my kids too!" And, since he had today off, he let me sleep "for as long as you need to," last night...and it was MUCH needed. Also, Desiree has given me quite a few 2hr breaks when she gets home from work in the morning...and has repeatedly said that Mothers deserve more than just one day a year :o)

Next, my awesome family. They rallied together to provide many of the large ticket items that I needed for the boys, and have been a continued provider of moral support. And right after I posted about my battle with the snaps, my mom found the gowns that everyone was mentioning and had them overnight shipped to me...and my sisters went out and found some long-sleeved onesies with the flap to keep the babies from scratching themselves, and as seen in the picture below, what Eric likes to call 'baby straight jackets,' but I like to think of them as cute cardigans (but they are great for the short sleeved onesies I already have!)
I can't forget to mention Eric's relatives in Utah. They surprised me the week before the boys arrived with a baby shower via Skype. I was so impressed, and as you can see from the pictures below, they had a lot of fun too!

And, my friends...local, faraway, and online. Thanks for the words of encouragement, advice, and laughs.

Last, but not least, I'm thankful for my sweet boys...even when I'm exhausted and in dire need of sleep.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

New Pictures!

Vanessa just finished taking some pictures of the boys b/c I desperately want to get out birth announcements soon. I just uploaded my favorites on Facebook, so if you are already a friend (which means your awesome) check them out...if you aren't on Facebook go to this link click here.

Does anyone have a company/website they have used for announcements that they really liked?? I need suggestions!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Good things come to those who procrastinate

Most people would probably describe Eric and I as indecisive, but I think at least part of the time it can be chalked up to good 'ole procrastination. There is always the exception to the rule, like Eric when he sees some ridiculous electronic on sale or when I'm online shopping at 2 in the morning and my conscious is fast asleep. Although procrastination normally maintains a negative stigma, today it finally paid off.

Remember my poor Corolla that died in January? It has been sitting and collecting leaves in my front yard since. Most people would never consider parking their dead vehicle in their yard, but most people don't live in the ghetto. We've been trying to find a junk yard to take the car, but there is only one in town, and they only get vehicles from auctions...and I've been a little busy with the boys to have the motivation to continue trying. I'm normally unable to see the benefits of our location, but today I'm proud of our little house on crack alley!

I was feeding the boys at about noon when someone rang the doorbell, and I answered in true white trash fashion, still in my PJ's and holding Carter with a bottle in his mouth. Koa ran out the door and scared the guy half to death, but I ushered him back inside and he quieted down. The guy asked if the Corolla was for sale b/c he noticed all the leaves that had accumulated. I told him about the engine compression issues AND the fact that I had just replaced the shocks, struts, and tires a year ago. He asked how much I wanted for it, and I asked what he wanted to pay. He said, "so junk price, $100?" I was thrilled and told him that was fine but I had to find out when Eric was getting home so he could sign the title over. The guy said he wasn't concerned about the title and pulled out his wallet and tried handing me 2 $50's b/c he wanted to take the car right now. I explained that I had two newborns inside and was unable to take everything out of the car at this moment...to which he said he could help me...but I wasn't about to let a stranger in my house. So, I told him to hang on to his money and I would call him once Eric got home and he could come get the car, but he insisted on giving me the $100 and said he'd come back later to tow it off.

How awesome is that?!? Think of the diapers and formula that will buy! (it's amazing how my aspiring purchases have drastically changed)

Even though I live in the ghetto, and subsequently have a 6' board on board privacy fence and alarm system...the plus is you have your neighbors, and in this case their friends, shopping in your front yard :o)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter, Happy Birthday, and in memory...

What an amazing day. Spring has finally shown it's beautiful face just in time to celebrate the Easter. I hope everyone enjoys this amazing day however you choose to celebrate it.

I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to my big brother Mike (the big 31). We've always been pretty close, and his wife can attest that we still share some of the same gestures, sayings, and things that probably drive her crazy.

And last, but not least, I want to remember John D. Amos who was killed 6 yrs ago today in Kirkuk, Iraq. You are never forgotten. (this is the person Carter's middle name came from).

Friday, April 2, 2010

A life long addiction

I feel a personal obligation to help blow the lid off of something that has been kept quiet for far too long...milk-aholicism.

I've seen this first hand with my boys. They will cry, scream, and make your life miserable unless you enable their habit. And once the sweet nectar touches their lips that are consumed with a high that I'm sure is as strong as cocaine. Then, they become so intoxicated that their bodies go limp and they appear to be in a coma-like state...until the high is gone, and the cycle starts all over again.

I would like to thank eTrade for their brave new campaign that helps call attention to this worldwide issue.

You've all been warned...