I think everyone needs a good laugh!

With all the crap going on right now, I felt it was my responsibility to share something that made me laugh so hard I almost cried.

Enjoy!!



It's all pretty good, but the if you want to get to the good stuff, start watching at 5:14.

Who's right anyway?

We have lived in the Panhandle of Florida for about 5 years now. In this time, we have made no fewer than 20 trips to a specific city in which you must take a toll bridge, or drive an extra 20 miles (and about 50 minutes) on a one lane highway.

I always drive. Eric hates driving. But, when he wants to get on my good side, he'll volunteer to drive.

As we are headed to get the boys pictures taken with Santa, Eric volunteers to drive...I ask, "are you sure?" and he says yes.

Me: "this isn't your turn, get back in your lane."

Eric: "it would be so nice if they marked it, then I would never miss it!"

Me: "it is marked"

Eric: "it's not marked with a big sign that says 'Eric, turn here!'"

Me: reading the sign "mid-bay bridge next right"

500 ft later

Me: "toll bridge to ****** right lane"

50 ft later

Me: "mid-bay bridge right lane"

...long pause...

Eric: "the sign needs to be orange, that way I'd be able to see it!"

I figured I'd made my point, so there was no need to argue...and I'm sure we'll have the same conversation the next time he decides to drive. What amazes me is that he gets turned around in this city EVERYTIME we go...yet always rocks at his land nav for the Army!?!

The giggles and more

Times, they are a changing...

Over the past week the boys have really started to notice one another and interact with each other. Every morning when they wake up, I put them both in the crib together for what I call "brother-brother time." They always end up turning on their sides facing each other and talk & play for the next 30 minutes or so. This is what I have been waiting for. This brings me hope that once they start moving around more, they will be able to entertain each other...but also get into trouble together.
For some reason the boys enjoy being on the changing table. When we first brought them home they screamed every time their diaper was changed, but now they laugh and squeal. And, as you've seen in previous videos, Eric loves to be silly with them...and only he can make them laugh this hard (I just can't seem to get the same reaction from them).

Also, the boys seem drawn to this panda on their gym toy. We have about a million things hanging from there, but both boys grab (and as shown below) suck on the feet of the Panda...maybe it's the color contrast?

My pondering about what really matters in life, brought to you by Ambien

As I sit and ponder about the most important things the world is facing, many things come to mind:

• will I ever have cute ankles again?


• will the new horizontal stretch marks appearing on my belly give me a large canvas to play tic tac toe while I have some down time during labor?


• once I'm done having kids, will the plastic surgeon be able to reconstruct my humpty dumpty body all together again?


• if I got a nose ring, wouldn't that just be the coolest thing ever? come on, everybody's doing it, which means it's a total must!

and the most important question of all...

1. who was in charge of helping the top 12 girls from American Idol pick out their wardrobe?


2. and...what was Kara smoking?

Eric and I have our favorite weekly shows, but American Idol has been hit or miss the past couple of seasons. Neither one of us could stand Adam Lambert, so we stopped watching that season the further along he got.

This season we saw a lot of promise in the initial cities, but there were also a lot of people getting golden tickets that needed to keep their day jobs. And by having Katy Perry as a guest judge, has made me stop listening to her music all together...she is a hateful heifer in my book!
Anyways, back to the wardrobe choices...it's like it was a game to see who could look the most ridiculous! The first girl had to be sewn into her outfit which was a black lace shorty jumper with a horrendous belt. Then there was another girl that looked like she put on granny's nighty, but wore it over one shoulder to show her massive style, and polished it of with...I bet you can't guess...a hideous belt! Another girl wore 'jeans' that looked like they were about 5% cotton, and 95% Lycra. DiDi, who I actually really like, was wearing was looked like grandmas rug from under the coffee table...but it worked with the vibe of the song.
Simon says this is the season for the girls, but I was utterly unimpressed. I normally don't babble on about things like this but if Ellen somehow has the credentials to judge a singing competition b/c she "appreciates music," then I feel I have every right to make my opinions known (to the 5-10 people that read my blog) because I have a deep appreciation for music and class.

At least when Paula was there, you were glued to the screen to find out what crazy move or swarm of words she would expel...or, there was always the hope for a true flat faced knock out onto the judging table. Kara is getting more hateful every season, and I have NO clue what she was talking about in relations to the "pitch" problems for two of the singers...maybe it's where they are sitting during the performance, or how it's relayed into the TV...we just aren't connecting this season.

I think might be time to just stick with Survivor this season, it's Heroes vs Villains, and so far it has been VERY entertaining.

Now, I'm feeling very tired and having problems concentrating on the words on the screen, so it's time for me to go pass out.

Mary, OUT!

Personalize it!

I am a huge fan of making things your own (as in my ROCKIN' purse from Lynsie @ Wish Apon A Star Custom Crafts).

I finally got my camo onesies back from Heavenly Stitches here in Crestview, and they turned out so cute, I wanted to share! This is also where I had Kelsey's bachelorette t-shirts done, and my scrub jackets embroidered. They do AMAZING work, and the owner is a sweetheart!
Also, we received these adorable bath robes from Eric's brother Peter & his wife, Nicole.
Since getting back from NC, Eric has gone into overdrive with getting organized...and all around nesting ;o). We went through everything and organized it into sizes, and unpacked & put together the car seat.
He is so excited that he wanted to try out one of the infant carriers, and Koa was happy to oblige!

Viva Le Tour!

Even though Eric & I aren't the most athletic people (mainly just me), we both enjoy watching the Tour de France every summer, not just for the crashes but we follow some of the American teams (Garmin & Columbia) along with Astana because Lance Armstrong will forever be my hero!

My favorite observation is that every summer, just before or as soon as the tour starts, Eric starts riding his bike for PT. The other 11 months of the year it sits in the garage. It's the one thing I can depend on in July :o)

I'm off to Mobile to take the NCLEX tomorrow, so please keep me in your prayers that I won't forget everything I've learned, or have a massive panic attack :o)

I'll just consider it a compliment

If you haven't figured it out yet, my husband and I have a very interesting relationship. We love to tease each other, play jokes, and just have a good time.

When it comes to ring tones, there is no exception. My ring tone for him has been "Rockstar," for quite a while now, but since he got his new phone he has all kinds of cool programs, and he makes his own ring tones. The past ring tone for me on his phone was "Milkshake" which always make the guys at his work crack up when I called.

While on vacation we were listening to some of the songs on the new Nickelback album and now I have a new ringtone:



The lyrics he picked for the ringtone are "Well she ain't no Cinderella when she's getting undressed, cause she rocks it like the naughty wicked witch of the west. Far too pretty to be giving it cheap, that's why she's making 6-figures working 3 days a week."

...awwwwwwww, ain't true love grand! ;o)

I think Eric is getting sick of standing in lines at clubs he'll never get in...to, so help me come up with a new ringtone for him!!!

The fateful Tale of Sammy the (grey rat or pine) Snake

One October morning Sammy was making his way across the long dirt road when I big black truck stopped close by. A very handsome man got out and walked up to Sammy. He looked at him for a while, then quickly grabbed him by the neck and the tail and tossed him into the back of his truck.

It was quite a bumpy ride, so Sammy searched for a more secure place to lay, there was an opening that he quickly went into and endured the rest of the ride.

The truck stopped and he heard the very handsome man sound frustrated, so he quickly weaved himself tightly through every available hole and held on for dear life as the man tried to pull him out. After awhile he gave up and headed back down the bumpy dirt road...then down a very fast road, then to stop.

Sammy thought he was finally safe, but then the very handsome man started spraying Sammy with water, and sounding very frustrated. The very handsome man soon gave up and left Sammy alone.

After several hours Sammy got the courage to venture out from the truck to a new world, there was different grass, noises, and SPLAT...Sammy got run over by a car.

***************************************************************************

My husband has a tendency to catch snakes (to include poisonous ones) and turn them into the Snake House at the Ranger Camp. They have a catch & release program so they have one's on hand to do demonstrations for the students, and for the community.

So, he caught this snake on his way home, tried to turn into the Snake House and then the snake was up underneath the truck and he couldn't get out. So, he ended up coming back to the house and then, after awhile he left and then I saw him up the street.

The Threatdown: this week's list of what is destroying America

I can't claim the fame for the Threatdown. I am a HUGE fan of Stephen Colbert and his satirical humor, so here is my version of the Threatdown.

5. People that have medical problems that I, as a student, can't do anything about

-when I am given a Pt with a serious medical disorder I expect to provide a certain level of care so I can write it down 13 times on the 13 different forms I have to turn in to my instructor. So, when they aren't getting the normal treatments all I can really do is ask them how they feel and make sure they are comfortable. So, sick people, please start to fall within that normal sickly realm so MY life can be a little easier.

4. The Stock Market

-it's very sad when your very small retirement account dimishes over $8000 in little under a year. I finally took everyone advice and used banks and the market instead of burying my $ where it is safe...and stays safe b/c I always forget to make a map or misplace the map for my map. Some of us want to eventually stop working, so start working so I don't have to.

3. Politicians

-there is always a new scandal or story breaking everyday about how McCain/Palin did this or how Obama/& the other guy did that...their plans...and how it will cause the end of civilization as we know it. Instead of a 3 million dollar prize for new energy efficiency in cars, how about a 3 million dollar prize for a device that gives you an automatic "good guy" "bad guy" reading. I would buy one...but then the machines would start to plot against the human race and we would be extinct before global warming could finish what we started.

2. Women that don't wear bras

-seriously...you like the looks of disgust when you walk by, b/c I don't like giving them. It is distracting not only for men...but I don't I can't help but wish someone would tell her "your boobs are sagging, let me show you to lingerie." We're at war, pick a side!

And the #1 threat destroying America is:

1. The internet

-what happened to good old fashioned pencil & paper? All my testing & assignments are done online now...and even when I had a real exam, it was graded by a computer. It's only a matter of time before we become the servants and the struggle for machine domination is over...just like Planet of the Apes.

Well, there you have it. And let me clarify, this is all in good fun and is nonsense on purpose. If you haven't seen an episode of The Colbert Report, you are missing out. It airs on Comedy Central M-Th @1130 (with re-runs the following day @ earlier times).

"Please don't stop the music"

While most people refer to their "inner dialogue," I seem to have an inner juke box. Ever since I was a kid my older brother and I would pick up on cartoon theme songs, commercial jingles, and any music in general. I drove my mom crazy at times b/c we would have something to sing after every comment was made. I can hear her yelling at us now, "stop being so sing-songy" (Mom, you know those were your exact words!).

Sometimes it is difficult to concentrate in a mental health lecture when I am tapping my foot and singing along with whatever is playing that day. This is especially embarassing in public b/c I have a tendancy to just bust out a line every once in awhile...I just can't help myself. The last time I went running with Eric I used my iPod and I couldn't help but sing every other line (I was going at a good pace and couldn't manage every line)...he just kept shaking his head at me and laughing.

Yea, I am weird, odd, eccentric...but when I forgot my faceplate to my radio and had to drive home from Orlando (6 hours)...my jukebox stayed true...and I was completely hoarse by the time I got home.