Monday, February 2, 2009

Twistie ties, you just made the list

I am a loyal/blind follower of the great Stephen Colbert, so I feel I must composite my own list of Things/People that are On Notice & Dead to Me

On Notice:

The Super Bowl. Is it just me or has it been too long to remember there being two teams involved that were actually worth watching. And, the football game seems to get in the way of the funny commercials. Professional athletes are so over paid. Also, what is up with the boring half time performances?


School. I feel like it will never end...and even when I graduate, it will only be a few months off before I'm back in the classroom.


Cold weather. I realize you only stay around for a few weeks at a time, and some variety is nice, but you are so very very close to being dead to me!


The Screen Actors Guild. Get over yourself!! It's not like you have produced that many good movies lately.


Battlestar Galactica. What the frack!! I only started watching you last season...and while at first it was to make fun of everything but, like a trainwreck I couldn't help but keep watching. Now it is your last season. What the frack?!?!


Dead to Me:


Twistie ties. I'm sick of you running away everytime I take you off the loaf of bread. Stop hiding and fight like a man!!!


US Postal Service. You have lost too many packages in the last 3 years that if you were a private company, you would have already been out of business!


Tricare. Whenever anyone from the military hospital calls, my ringtone says "Stupid, someone below normal intelligence."


Global Warming. Lets face it, nobody likes you but you still insist on sticking around!


Ugly wide belts. The 60's are calling and said they don't even want them!











These lists are subject to change without notice...until you are on notice!

16 comments:

Doublebanker said...

I'm either a fold over or a chip clip kinda guy. Usually throw my twisties away...I guess we could take up a collection for ya! :)

Cats walk on water?

Missy said...

I love your you are dead to me list! I have an award for you, please stop by!

So said...

Love it. I've heard many a horror story about Tricare. It makes me angry that the military doesn't get better health care. Grrrrr.....

Queenie Jeannie said...

Very funny and original post!!! You and Kristina P. have missed your calling as writers!!!

Sorry school is being a drag. I'm so proud of you though - just keep on, keepin' on! Remember, you're Army Strong!!!!

blueviolet said...

I love your list and every bit of it is true (save for the military part because I wouldn't know.)

Jillene said...

HAHAHAHA!! Great post!! And I SOOOOOO agree with the twist ties!!

Kristina P. said...

Cold weather is actually dead to me. Dead, dead, dead.

Michelle said...

Did you know that the US postal service is NOT owned by the government...just regulated by it? This I know, cause I did customer service for them for a while.

Michelle said...

Oh, and I also totally agree with you on the twisty tie thing. They always run away. It drives me crazy.

Erin said...

I've never seen The Colbert Report (I think that's what it is called). But I like the term "dead to me."

Ugly wide belts are gross though.

Because the crazy is all part of my charm .. said...

Health care in general infuriates me. I kept getting all these bills from Geisinger that I knew I had paid. A few times, I ended up paying the same bill twice. When I called to ask what was going on, they would tell me, "Sorry that must not have been entered into the system yet, but I see you paid your bill. You can disregard that notice saying we're going to arrest your ass." OK, so those weren't their exact words, but still. Now, I throw all of the bills they send me right into the garbage. If they can't get they're shit together, they're dead to me.

the letter Bee said...

Ugly wide belts are dead to me too. Seriously.

Thanks for putting up my button!

The Thompson's said...

great list, i loved it all.

Love and Prayers,

Tim

Wendyburd1 said...

I never liked football, the only reason I thought the NY Giants were cool was because my friends dad from church was a Giant.

Jessica G. said...

I'm totally with ya on the SAG! And I think the Super Bowl's main purpose now is to serve as a launching pad for the really creative people that create the commericals.

Mrs. Jacqueline said...

Ooooh, giiiirl! Do NOT get me started on the Tricare! Yes, it's free- but in this case you get what you pay for LOL!