Book Review!!

Intro to Army Life: A Handbook for Spouses and Significant Others Entering the Army Lifestyle

by Allison Mewes

In full disclosure, I had my reservations about this book. I am the first one to admit that I do NOT know everything about the Army, but after almost 11 years, I know enough to get me by. I had very high expectations and, at first, was very skeptical and was almost waiting for false information. I am happy to report that I was extremely impressed by the factual information it had to offer.

Every Army wife has different experience. Bottom line, you'll never be able to make a broad generalization about them. The location, rank, and job of the soldier gives each Army Wife an experience that is uniquely hers.

This book doesn't try to generalize, but instead gives great tips and information about how to make your life, especially during deployment, a little less stressful. Complete with rank charts and her own compilation of the 25 most important Acronyms, it is easily maneuvered and simple enough for anyone to understand.

There was only one area that I did not fully agree with the author, and no military spouse ever can. Fraternization. Although the military has rules and regulation regarding the fraternization of the soldiers, the spouses are left on their own to either do what their soldier tells them, or form a system that works for their family. On page 56, the author states

"The same rule for soldiers applies somewhat to spouses. It is assumed that spouses of higher-ranking military personnel will know things that shouldn't be told to spouses of lower-ranking military personnel and therefore shouldn't communicate on a social level. There is no hard and fast rule on this, but it is something to be aware of. Again, since families of Reserve or National Guard soldiers live off base, the socialization rules are not as strictly enforced."

Like stated before, you will never be able to please every Army Wife, but even my husband was a little thrown by this statement. No matter your soldier's rank, if it isn't public knowledge, it shouldn't be shared with your spouse. When my hubby was enlisted, I always had a wide array of Army Wife friends who's spouses ranged from E-1 to O-5. I met all of these women through the FRG because I kept the mindset that you can't make a difference, or complain, if you don't participate. Even after the hubby went to "the dark side" and became an Officer, the variance has stayed the same. Also, it gives the appearance that most active duty families live on post. In the decade the hubby and I have been married, we've only lived on post for one year. It is truly a game of chance, when PCSing to a new location, if housing is readily available. Most posts have up to an 18 month waiting list for housing, therefore many soldiers live off post.

One paragraph in 172 pages, that's pretty darn fantastic!

I definitely recommend this book to any new spouses to the Army! There are great resources and interesting facts. This would be a great bridal gift, or gift for a spouse with only a few months or years of experience.

As the back cover states "[this book] gives you the tools and resources necessary to make you transition into the Army lifestyle easier, less stressful and more fun."

I also want to point out this that book is available in paperback, on Kindle, and Nook. I personally purchased it for my Kindle because I was so impressed with the resources that are valuable to every Army spouse.

Happy reading!

*I was sent this book for review by the publisher, no other compensation was given*
*I plan on passing the book along to my soon-to-be SIL as she makes her transition to Army Wife!*

I can no longer call them babies

One of the great things about living close to family, combined birthday parties!! Michelle made this AMAZING train that the kids eventually tore apart...and had a blast!

After almost 7 hours of work, the cake turned out pretty good. And I have to give all credit to Jessica, who is always just an e-mail away for advice!

Carter sat nicely and picked away at his cake.

Jimmy & Carter waited for us to stop singing to blow out their candles, but Cooper was too impatient.

Cooper crawled across the table and blew out Carter's candle for him...twice.

I still can't believe I have 2 year olds! So, instead of calling them "the babies" I'll have to go against all the research on twins and call them "the boys." They are so immensely different. Cooper's vocabulary is growing everyday and he loves to play and entertain himself. Carter is now saying "ball" and "more" and focuses his energy on snuggling whenever he can. They are turning into little boys, and it's great to see their little personalities emerge more and more each day.

Both the boys have been clinging to hubby since he got home, and many hours have been spent outside enjoying the new warmer weather. The hubby has finally signed into the post here, so know I'm left waiting (and a little worried) to get back into the normal Army life. Although I know there will be drama, I look forward to meeting other Army Wives, and getting plenty of material for my blog ;o)

Getting Older

As I begin to plan for our road trip next month to my family's very first family reunion, it is abundantly clear that I'm getting old. Not that many years ago I would have no problem staying in a ghetto hotel or would have even put much thought into a trip THAT far in the future. I guess my first mistake was staying at a Holiday Inn Express when I had a 2 day certification in Chapel Hill this fall. The bed was SO comfy, and I didn't even use MY pillow that I take with me everywhere! Even though it had smoking rooms, mine obviously had never been or they are one of the few companies that know how to clean thoroughly.

Convenience is also becoming a higher priority than expense. It is still VERY uncertain if the hubby will be able to accompany me on the 22 hr road trip to Texas, so I'm trying to justify every option. If I had more than one friend in the area (outside of my brother & awesome SIL) I could probably find someone to drive with me...but I don't. I'm contemplating flying out a family member or even asking the nanny to come. Either one would be very expensive, but having another adult to help wrangle these TWO year olds might be worth avoiding a migraine.
Yes, the boys turned two yesterday.
I was excited to attend church, and was counting on my cell phone of almost two years to automatically update with the time change, as it has done since I got it, but it didn't. So, we took a lazy day and stayed in our PJ's and I gave the boys a taste of my first attempt at the 3D train cake I'm making for the party this weekend (since the hubby should be home by then). I think they liked it.

They are such crazy boys, and make me laugh on a daily basis.

Lora helped me finish the day by bringing over dinner, since we both had serious wallowing days Saturday, and we finished our Twilight marathon with Breaking Dawn. I'm so lucky to have my one friend (outside of work) that understands me and can relate so completely...everyone needs a local friend like that!

I'm still trying to avoid turning 30 this summer, but it seems to be inevitable. Although the number still freaks me out a bit, it comes with life experience that I wouldn't replace. But there will not be a party :o)

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

To say I've been in a funk lately is a vast understatement. My patience is thin & my attitude needs a makeover. As we get into the busy season at work, I've been finding it harder and harder to paste on a smile after the millionth case of emergency vomiting. On an exceptionally trying day my manager handed me an envelope that was sent to the hospital & addressed to me. I planned on scanning it, but my scanner has decided to die...so here is what is said.

*Outside of card*
"Thanks!"

*Inside*
"...for making my life suck just a little less. :)"

"Dear Mary,

My name is **** **** and I was in the Pediatric Emergency Room on **-**-**. I was there because I needed to have my appendix removed. I wanted to say thank you for EVERYTHING you did for me. You truly are the best nurse in the world! :)
You made me feel comfortable when I felt at my worst!
*Mary, Mary quite contrary*
I will never forget you!
-Your Patient,
**** ****

"Mary,

Thank you for making our time in the ER bearable. Keep doing what you do, you're truly gifted. **** ****"

I've been carrying around this card in my work bag ever since. It makes me cry every time I read it. Knowing that I made a difference on a person's horrible day is the greatest gift I could ever receive.

So, take the time to thank those who you are truly grateful for, it will make a world of difference on their day!

Counting down the days

While attempting to function after the third stomach bug in three months, I found myself trying to count the days until my Sexy Beast will be home...two more months. Two more months. Two more months.

I know that doesn't sound like a lot to most people, and in all honesty it isn't. I'm thankful that my husband is at a school and not being shot at in a combat zone. I'm thankful he has a good job that has afforded him the opportunity to go from a GED to a Masters degree in eleven years. I'm thankful he is alive, even when we can't seem to agree on things.

To say this past year has been trying, is a vast understatement.

The boys and I moved to be closer to family, which just happened to be our next duty station, while the hubby went to school. He then broke his arm on his last day at work, landing him in the OR and then months of healing before he could once again pass his push ups, THEN wait for another class date to open up. I started a great job but found a very substandard nanny, then found a great one who ended up quitting the day before she was supposed to start, then had a fill in that didn't work out, THEN found another great one that has been fantastic. I said goodbye to my father, but was able to improve my relationship with his wonderful wife & family.

I recently found a blog, through a link on facebook, that really makes me smile. So, here is one of my Kairos moments I'm holding onto with a death grip

While Eric was home we were able to have a short date night. For the first time I ordered ribs, with the intention of sharing with the boys when I got home.

Cooper quickly stripped the meat off & proceeded to suck every morsel off.

Carter, on the other hand, didn't fancy getting his hands dirty & cried until I cut the meat off and handed him his fork.

So, although I was up most of last night with another stomach bug, I'm grateful that I had the nanny come for half the day so I could rest...because as luck would have it, looks like Cooper got it too. Also a HUGE thanks to my fellow Army Wife, Lora, who came to my house after I ruined our shopping trip in Raleigh, by getting sick, followed me back to my house and got the boys dinner & put them down...all so I could puke in peace. I honestly wouldn't have survived this last year without such thoughtful family and friends.

So Grateful

Roundtrip ticket home $700


Having my Sexy Beast home for Christmas: PRICELESS


Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza and every other holiday this time of year! Take the time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, and keep the true meaning of Christmas alive!

My laptop died, and with the holiday shopping, everyone is sold out, so bare with me until I get a new one!

Give 'em the pickle!!

When I was starting orientation for my current employer, back in May, we had to watch a video entitled, "Give 'em the pickle." The title catches your attention, but so does the content. The short explanation was a customer always asked for an extra pickle and had always received one without any charge, but one day a new employee refused & wanted to charge the customer for the extra pickle. The customer was infuriated and wrote a letter to the owner, Bob Farrell, who wrote back & started the catch phrase "Give 'em the pickle."

The principle is simple, if going the extra mile causes a small loss in profit BUT satisfies the customer, DO IT! Keeping customers happy is what keeps them coming back.

Today, more than any other day, I wish this video was part of the AAFES employment orientation. Commissary shopping with the boys is one of my very LEAST favorite things to do. That being said, I've found that if I go to Charlies (in the PX food court) and get them fries (which come in a paper cup), they stay almost completely preoccupied during my grocery shopping and it is a better experience for everyone. I always order a regular fry, costing $1.99, and ask for an extra cup so I can split it between both boys & the can hold them on their own. I've done this at numerous fast food places, and have never had a problem. Well today, there was an employee in line behind me and as I asked for an extra cup, she says to the employee behind the counter, "she can have a paper tray." I turned around and looked at her and said, "I just want a cup so my kids can hold the fries without spilling them," to which she replied (with a head whip) talking too fast to comprehend fully, but that those cups cost more money than the trays, so if I wanted another cup, I would have to order more fries. The confused girl behind the counter gave me a tray and I walked to the other end of the counter to some other employees and said, "All I want is a stupid cup, how much do I have to pay for an empty cup?" They were also confused and a girl went over and grabbed a plastic water cup and gave it to me. I said thanks & turned to the employee in line and said, "was that really so hard?"

I normally have an exuberant amount of patience for poor customer service, but COME ON! To those few military wives that read my blog, I'm sure you can attest to the continued poor customer service at EVERY commissary, PX, BX, or NEX. I rarely find an employee that doesn't act like I'm disturbing them if I ask a question. My favorite is when I have to stand there waiting, while they finish up their personal conversation with another employee or on the phone. The only exception to this is the baggers at the commissary. They almost always are polite and go the extra mile because they know their positive attitude reflects directly on the tip they receive from the customer (since they work ONLY for tips).

I really try to keep this concept in mind at work, especially when dealing with people on the worst day of their life. I always bring an extra popsicle/juice/crackers for the patients siblings or parents. It's the little things that can make a bad situation more tolerable.

So, was I overreacting or making a point? I'm still debating that one.

**************************************************
Medicare reimbursement is becoming contingent on patient customer satisfaction surveys, and many hospitals (especially Emergency Departments) are getting poor ratings.

So here's some facts to consider before you head to the ED. The National average waiting time (just in the waiting room) is 4 hrs. You aren't seen in the order in which you arrive, you're seen by the severity of your issue. If your child has a fever, give them medicine BEFORE you get to the hospital (and know what medicine you gave) since you may be waiting awhile to see a Dr. And, seeing as it is an EMERGENCY department, be kind to your nurse...you never know WHY they haven't been in your room in almost an hour. When you have a patient that isn't breathing, it kind of trumps an ear ache.

Spending time with my boys

We were lucky enough that Eric was able to take a short trip home before heading off to his next school! We planned a short vacation to Williamsburg and had a pretty good time, aside from the melt downs.

Since active duty get one free visit to Busch Gardens, we knew that was definitely on our list. Eric and I didn't ride any adult rides, but we had fun watching the boys run around and even ride the kiddie version of Blast Off & Re-entry. Eric saw the face painting and said he wanted to pick something out for Carter. I agreed as long as I got to pick out Coopers.

Here is Carter

Here is Cooper

Here is Eric's punishment for his choice

As we walked through the park the boys both finally fell asleep in the stroller, which brought on the funniest and most disturbing comments...mostly "awwww, look at the dead baby!" Most people laughed & pointed (especially since we also had the backpack leashes), and a few gave dirty looks. I thought it was great, and since Busch Gardens was celebrating the 13th year of Hallo-Scream, it was very fitting!

The boys didn't do as well with the Ripley's Museum or Colonial Williamsburg, so we found Inflation Nation (which was just bought out by Bounce House) and the boys spent two hours running & sliding.


Except for where we stayed, Wyndham Govenor's Green, it was a great time. Eric and I have had timeshare through Wyndham for the past 6 years and we have never been treated so poorly, which all centered around having children under the age of 2. So, if you're looking for timeshare, don't go with Wyndham. We're actually looking into selling all together!