Sunday, October 25, 2009

Rude or Just Plain Stupid?

I thought it was common knowledge that there are two things that one never asks a woman about: age or weight. These unwritten rules, as I have always understood them, also include making comments about either that could be construed as hurtful in any way.

That being said, you can understand my frustration earlier this week I was told by three people at work, "don't you think it's time for maternity scrubs?" First, I'm not clueless! I knew that when I put my top on that it was a little tight around my belly, but it completely covered my stomach and there was still plenty of room to fit everything thing in my pockets. And second, do you honestly think I haven't noticed my ever-growing baby bump? Did everyone forget I just came back from spending almost two weeks in Seattle for a funeral? Shopping for maternity scrubs was the last thing on my mind! Also, I knew the minute I put the top on I needed some new ones, but I had to go to work that night.

If that wasn't bad enough, Friday night a fellow nurse made an even better comment, "wow, the doc is going to have to put you on a diet soon, your getting huge!" To which I replied, "well, considering I've only gained 8 lbs, am still able to fit into the same scrub bottoms from before I was pregnant, and I'm 18 weeks along with twins...I think I'm doing ok!"

Both of these comments within a matter of a week has really gotten me down. But, I went to a wedding last night and most people couldn't tell I was pregnant until I turned sideways. And the bride, who I hadn't seen since before I was pregnant (and isn't one to hold back the truth) said I looked great, and the only thing she saw getting bigger was my belly...which I know I'm only a nurse, but isn't that what's supposed to happen when you have a growing baby!

Am I just being overly sensitive??


On a more positive note, I felt one of the babies kick Friday morning. I was laying in bed and wasn't sure if I was going crazy or not so I put my hand on my belly and felt 3 little taps. So I woke up Eric and made him verify...and he felt it too!! This was VERY exciting for me because I haven't really been able to feel any movement yet, but that's probably because I've had a lot of pain throughout and haven't been paying attention.

And for those that have asked, I have my "20 week" ultrasound on November 16th, which is when I hope to find out the genders. I'll be close to 22 weeks by that point, so the likelihood is good that we'll finally know!



For some reason, pregnant woman seem to inspire even utter strangers to make comments without any regard to common sense - they see that belly and the comments just start flying! I like to respond to such comments with "Thank you so much. I will give that the attention it deserves." By the way, you look AMAZING in all the pics I've seen. Beautiful, glowing, and your belly is rather tiny for 18 weeks with twins - adorable. Seriosuly lady, you are sexy and they are just jealous. :) Can't wait ot hear news from the ultrasound.

Queenie Jeannie said...

For some weird reason, perfect strangers and friends alike, seem to think they have the right to come up to you and say whatever they want to you and/or feel you up. It's rude and it's wrong and you're going to have it happen to you anyway. It happens to all of us, honest.

You are preggers and your hormones are all over the place, so chances are things that would bug you anyway are going to bug you worse. Just try to roll with it as much as possible.

I'm so excited to find out about your babies!!!! If you have only gained 8 pounds that is awesome!!! Seems like you should have gained more but I know you weren't feeling well for a long spell. Don't listen to the stupidheads and enjoy this time!!!

Vic and Al said...

You're not being overly sensitive. I have seen pictures of you and I think you look fantastic! And you know it is impossible for my big mouth to lie! People are idiots, seriously, common sense isn't so common.

Jen said...

Wow, yeah, those were stupid comments. How rude. I like that my work doesn't require scrub tops... some of the nurses just start wearing regular old maternity tops as they get bigger.

For the record, I agree with that bride. I saw the picture, and you look really great, and you have the cutest little baby bump! You should wear it with pride.

Jessica G. said...

I think worse than the chubby comments are the people who think it's perfectly acceptable to rub a stranger's pregnant belly. Creeped me out!

And my husband once got the silent treatment for a comment he made about my extending even our loved ones are not immune from foot-in-mouth disease.

Erin said...

How exciting to feel the babies! Yippee!

For some stupid reason, people think that when you are pregnant the rules don't apply. They SHOULD realize that they actually apply MORE than usual, and keep their mouths shut!

Momma Sarah said...

Well, sweetie! I thought you looked super great when we saw you and super cute! You should see MY belly now! Mine would completely dwarf yours, so there!

That's so exciting you are feeling movement now! I think that's one the best parts! Can't wait to find out the genders! The kids will try to guess from time to time... too cute!

Michelle said...

People seem to think it's okay to say whatever they want to pregnant women. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that it is perfectly acceptable to tell these people they are stupid. Seems fair to me. :) The only thing that a person should ever say to a pregant woman is, "you look beautiful!" All other comments are not acceptable. haha.

Okay, do they make maternity scrubs?? That's funny. I didn't think there was a need since most scrubs are draw string. I wear the same scrubs through my whole pregnancy. I didn't know they made maternity draw string anything. lol.

My ultrasound is scheduled for the 17th. YAY!

Michelle said...

Duh, I guess they would have to make maternity scrub tops. I'm a little slow. lol.

Jessica said...

I don't know why the weight, shape, size of pregnant woman doesn't seem off limits, but for many people it isn't. Next time someone tells you "Wow, you are getting so big!" Just smile and say "Wow, so are you? At least I can blame mine on pregnancy." hehe

Anonymous said...

OH MareBear!!!! I am laughing soooo hard. You know it is because I can probably guess WHO made those comments and because I am NOT suprised at how stupid and insensitive they can be....... You look smashing HOT, and you know I mean it......cant wait to catch up with ya.....missing ya, molly

Missy said...

I work with three women who just gave birth. They wore regular shirts their entire pregnancies. You could literally see their belly buttons popped out! We made jokes about instead of baby gifts, that we should buy them some maternity clothes...
They all deliverd girls within four days of each other!