Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My pondering about what really matters in life, brought to you by Ambien

As I sit and ponder about the most important things the world is facing, many things come to mind:

  • will I ever have cute ankles again?

  • will the new horizontal stretch marks appearing on my belly give me a large canvas to play tic tac toe while I have some down time during labor?

  • once I'm done having kids, will the plastic surgeon be able to reconstruct my humpty dumpty body all together again?

  • if I got a nose ring, wouldn't that just be the coolest thing ever? come on, everybody's doing it, which means it's a total must!

and the most important question of all...

  1. who was in charge of helping the top 12 girls from American Idol pick out their wardrobe?

  2. and...what was Kara smoking?

Eric and I have our favorite weekly shows, but American Idol has been hit or miss the past couple of seasons. Neither one of us could stand Adam Lambert, so we stopped watching that season the further along he got.

This season we saw a lot of promise in the initial cities, but there were also a lot of people getting golden tickets that needed to keep their day jobs. And by having Katy Perry as a guest judge, has made me stop listening to her music all together...she is a hateful heifer in my book!
Anyways, back to the wardrobe choices...it's like it was a game to see who could look the most ridiculous! The first girl had to be sewn into her outfit which was a black lace shorty jumper with a horrendous belt. Then there was another girl that looked like she put on granny's nighty, but wore it over one shoulder to show her massive style, and polished it of with...I bet you can't guess...a hideous belt! Another girl wore 'jeans' that looked like they were about 5% cotton, and 95% Lycra. DiDi, who I actually really like, was wearing was looked like grandmas rug from under the coffee table...but it worked with the vibe of the song.
Simon says this is the season for the girls, but I was utterly unimpressed. I normally don't babble on about things like this but if Ellen somehow has the credentials to judge a singing competition b/c she "appreciates music," then I feel I have every right to make my opinions known (to the 5-10 people that read my blog) because I have a deep appreciation for music and class.

At least when Paula was there, you were glued to the screen to find out what crazy move or swarm of words she would expel...or, there was always the hope for a true flat faced knock out onto the judging table. Kara is getting more hateful every season, and I have NO clue what she was talking about in relations to the "pitch" problems for two of the singers...maybe it's where they are sitting during the performance, or how it's relayed into the TV...we just aren't connecting this season.

I think might be time to just stick with Survivor this season, it's Heroes vs Villains, and so far it has been VERY entertaining.

Now, I'm feeling very tired and having problems concentrating on the words on the screen, so it's time for me to go pass out.

Mary, OUT!


Kristina P. said...

Ooooh, horizontal stretchmarks! I do have a road map on my stomach, but I don't think I have horizontal ones!

Mary said...

I guess my belly has stretched to mass capacity width wise, so now it's spreading horizontally to allow for the growing boys. I just wish stretch marks and cellulite were considered sexy in at least one culture!

Michelle said...

I haven't even started to watch AI this season. After last season, I don't know if I will. And I most definitely won't be watching next year after Simon leaves. I think it's time for the whole show to end.


I have pondered most of those questions myself. I too have a road map on my stomach. I am not an Idol fan...although I did have to wait to get my order at McDonalds in Chelsea, AL..because all the girls working there were trying to see Rueben Stoddard in the drive through line...its tough being an average joe. :-)

Mrs. Jacqueline said...

I vote you go for the nosering :D All my piercings make me happy because they're glittery! Yay glitter! And don't worry about the stretch marks honey, because only your hubby is going to see them and I guarantee you he doesn't care. So neither should you :D Think of them as your Warrior Momma Stripes, you've earned them!

Mary said...

The nose ring comment was another poke at AI...one of the contestants was rewarded by her mother by getting her nose pierced b/c she made the top 12.
Although, I did consider it when I was in High School...just like everyone else :o)

Don and Jacqueline said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. Jacqueline said...

Well, I guess your humor is wasted on me this week! LOL!!!

Grandma Arnold said...

I was most unimpressed with AI as I watched part of the show (recorded earlier) with the girls. The get-ups (outfits) were classless, as were hairstyles, not to mention some of the performances. How about the wrinkled booty; I assume this is the reference to 5% cotton? Those pants made her booty look hideous.

I am amazed that Ellen Degeneres feels, or anyone feels, she is competent to judge this competition. Her facial expression (noted only one) and her comments were clueless. Just some random thoughts from Mom.

Vic and Al said...

You are funny! Just thinking about you. You are almost there! Miss you guys!

Missy said...

LOL! You are funny! You should try the Housewives!

Jen said...

I just finished "watching" AI. And by watching, I mean sleeping on the couch and pretending to pay attention. I think I heard a bit of each song.