The Silver Lining

I want to first, thank everyone that posted such touching comments. I am truly grateful to have met all of you through this wonderful outlet of blogging :o) !!!

As of today I have completed 128.75 hrs of my 144 hr requirement of my practicum, and I graduate in 7 days!!!! I have learned so much and have been able to connect with so many patients. I have also been able to recognize areas I need more work in & evaluate the care I provide.

So...the good news...well...I was offered a job!!!!!!!!! I was approached late last week about a possible full-time position in Pediatrics on the night shift. I told her I needed a few days to think about b/c my heart was set on L&D, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew this position was going to be the best spot for me. B/c it is a small hospital, when there aren't a lot of patients, the Pediatric Nurses float to the med-surg floor (where I have been for 3 semesters & practicum), so I would be able to stay current with all my skills, and get to take care of kids!! Night shift will also provide a nice shift differential to make up for me being a new nurse, and the fact that nurses don't make great money in this area...and I can attend church no matter what day I'm scheduled!!!!!

I am so excited for my sisters to come on Friday, and my mom to arrive Saturday. It it going to continue to be another busy week, but I'm so ready to be a big grown up Nurse :o)

A very heavy heart

Most of you know my stance on babies...but what most of you might not understand is that I really do want to have kids.

Up until last December I always had the view point that I would have kids one day...just not now. So, it came as a shock that I started feeling ready to have kids. One of my biggest fears was to find out I was pregnant and be upset about it...I really wanted to be at a place in my life that I could be excited about adding to our family, and I finally felt like it was happening.

So, being the studious Nursing Student that I am, I busted open my Maternal Nursing book and calculated what I needed to add to my diet, went to the doctor and changed many of my medications, and gave up caffeine. I would have to say that the caffeine was the hardest, but I adjusted and was doing fine.

My doc said not to be surprised if I didn't get pregnant right away, but I was very disappointed the first fews months when it didn't happen. But, we kept trying and I am usually right on track with my monthly cycle, so when I was late in March I took a test, and it was negative...then the next day, negative, and the next day was negative. The following day I went was going to a local Middle School to do a presentation about Tobacco use with two of my Nursing buddies, and Vanessa insisted that I take another test. She was so insistent that at lunch she went and bought me one...the digital kind just to be sure. So, in the middle school bathroom we found out I was pregnant. I was so excited!!!

On the way home I went and bought an Army baby bib, and handed it to Eric as I walked in the door, and he was so happy and automatically started calling all his family. I, on the other hand, was nervous about telling people in case something happened b/c I didn't want to have to call everyone back and explain if something went wrong.

And it did.

About 5 days later the cramping and bleeding began, and my heart broke. I had taken all the precautions, and I felt completely powerless. I had already disclosed the pregnancy to the school b/c you have to, but Vanessa was a trooper and spread the news to my instructors to save me from the tears. Everyone that knew was so incredibly supportive, to which I am eternally grateful for.

This is one of the main reasons I have been so absent from the wonderful world of blogging over the past 2 months. Everyone has been announcing their pregnancies, and it was hard for me.

This Sunday was very hard seeing that the only other young couple in the ward is now pregnant...so now we're alone once more in being the only couple in the ward without kids. I know it's not a competition...but it was comforting knowing that I wasn't the only one.

We aren't sure when we'll start trying again, so please don't ask. I just needed to put this out there as part of my own cathartic healing...this way no one can see my tears.

Warning...very random post!!

Many of you know that I am not a huge fan of give-aways b/c I'm pessimistic and feel there's no point in entering...but I recently entered one on a whim and WON!!!! Can you believe it!! Here's my beautiful plaque from Jenny @ Just the Write Thing:


You ALL need to check out her site!! These family plaques make great wedding gifts, plus she makes amazing holiday plaques & blocks.

I've been working really hard over the past few weeks, and have finally found some time to start reading blogs again. I love catching up with what everyone is up to & laughing hysterically at many of your posts.

I am learning so much working with my Preceptor at the hospital, and recently learned that if I end up on a Med-Surg floor I will definitely request to work the night shift!! My preceptor and I have really seemed to mesh well, and I appreciate her putting up with my warped sense of humor & sarcasm. As of today I have 14 days til graduation...WOOHOO!!!

I also decided to go to Missouri for my brother's graduation from Med School about 2 weeks after I graduate. My family is spread all over, and he has a beautiful little girl that I have yet to meet!!! Plus, my SIL Michelle is pretty darn awesome. I have been extremely blessed with the women my brother's chose to marry...mainly b/c I think they are quite similar to me ;o)

Keep writing, and even though I can't always check every post, I love reading your thoughts when I can!!

Is being a nerd a bad thing?

I am used to being teased, b/c I give it out way too much to not expect it!!! But, I am also known for being....we'll say, prepared. So often I am asked to use my stapler, if I have a tissue, if I brought my lab coat, and other things. I kind of think I have a problem of being a packrat, but it pays off far too often to give up now!

Well, this summer I decided to purchase a hip clip for my stethascope. I was sick of keeping it around my neck in fear of some beligerant patient grabbing it or while leaning over the bedside, accidentilly knocking someone in the head with it. I love my little clip...but I guess it's nerdy.

I also have what one of my friends referred to as my "nerdy nurse pack pocket protector." It is a pocket organizer. I know, symantics. But, I love not having to search through my pockets looking for a pen, scissors, or ETOH pads.

It seems that I am always organized when it comes to school or work, but I can't keep my office or house organized to save my life!

Holy Cow!!!

I have passed my very last exam for Nursing School!!!!


Thanks for all the exam prayers (that I know that ALL of you said), and the support over the past few months. I have 12, 12hr shifts to complete in the next 3 weeks, but I should definitely have more time to breathe on the days I'm off.

I've tried to hit up everyone's blog when I can, and you ladies never cease to amaze me!

All gave some, but some gave All!

It is five years to the day that PFC John D. Amos II (promoted to SPC post humanously) gave his life for his friends in Charlie Co, 1-21, in Kirkuk, Iraq.

You are not forgotten!