Friday, December 4, 2009

Do you really need to be that close?

Let me start by saying I love people, which is why I have chosen a profession that allows me to serve the communnity. That being said, this doesn't mean that I want to touch you, or be touched by you.

I have never really been a touchy person. I enjoy my alone time and ESPECIALLY my personal space. But, when in line at Disney World and other related events I understand that this is a priviledge, and I am willing to sacrifice.

I think this graphic explains it best, but in my perfect world, the 'intimate space' would stretch out to 4' with the 'casual space' being 4-12' away.

I'm not even a cuddler, ask Eric. Even when we are at home, we are on opposite sides of the couch. I just can't help but feel suffocated when I'm trying to relax and having someone touch me. I often put at least a pillow between me and the other person. When we are out shopping we only hold hands about 1/2 the time, which is almost always initiated by him...my poor Sexy Beast! I love him with all my heart and sometimes I'll keep my arm around his waist while we walk, but I just enjoy my space. I think a lot of it comes from all the years as a teenager being taught that touching was bad, then dealing with crazy long deployments where I was living thousands of miles away from family and didn't have that close personal contact with anyone. Once when Eric got home on mid-tour leave, he put his hand on my leg & I just about crashed the car!!! But I don't have a problem snuggling with Koa...who was the only 'person' I had that contact with while I was alone.

With this pregnancy I had extreme fears of random people feeling the need to touch my belly, and it hasn't been too bad. There have been about 3 incidents that made me think, "how would you like me to rub your belly without asking??" But for the most part, people ask before reaching in which gives me the opportunity to allow them into my personal space instead of them invading it, and I don't mind at all. This might all stem from my insane need to maintain control...

Am I just crazy, or does anyone else feel like this with people?? I don't have this problem with kids or animals...it's mainly just adults.

8 comments:

blueviolet said...

I agree! I hate people in my space but I do like to cuddle. EXCEPT for bedtime. They don't make a bed big enough for us. I don't want even the slightest chance of contact with anyone while I'm sleeping.

JanEllenSanders said...

Sorry for the invasion of space! I know I have rubbed your belly without asking!!

Danielle said...

I am so that way! Except the cuddling... I love to cuddle my husband and my kids.

I hate crowds. When we went to see New Moon, it was so crowded that people were constantly brushing up against me. I almost had an anxiety attack; it was stressing me out!

Mary said...

Jan, it's totally different when friends do it, and people I don't really know!

Jessica said...

I love that graphic! I'm with you on this - not so into strangers in my space.

Missy said...

I have personal space issues and I am not a cuddler either. The belly rubbing thing is just wrong, but it is one of those things that comes with being pregnant! LOL

Wendyburd1 said...

I totally agree!! And I like hugs and stuff, but I almost need to brace myself if it isn't family. I just want to be asked in a way I guess if I want people in my space and touching me in anyway. One of my bff is pregnant but I don't go up to her and touch her belly, I touched it once with permission and no baby kicks...the kid is supposed to be my first baby kick I get to feel too!! babies!
Maxie my dog needs no permission...odd. LOL

Queenie Jeannie said...

Poor thing! I don't know what it is but even I have had the almost impulsive NEED to rub on pregnant women's bellies!!! It just calls to people or something! Of course I have enough self-control to refrain, but I wanna, lol!

When I was preggers with The Bella, people would do that to me and I was like.....whooah! I don't know you - back off!!! But I do understand the impulse!