My very first GIVEAWAY!!!

(Can't you just imagine Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch?)

Since it seems that I'm the only one not doing, or entering, giveaways...I thought it was time to jump on the band wagon.

I've put a lot of thought into this, and after many sleepless nights I have decided to give away something very near and dear to my heart. Cool points!!

Yes, you read that right! The winner will receive 18,000 Cool Points (I always handed them out to the kids in my Sunday School class, and knew you would appreciate them as much as they did).

The following tasks are worth one entry (please leave a comment, birthday, & SSN for each entry)
*go next door and tell your neighbor that their haircut sucks
*if you have a dog
*if you think your dog is cooler than mine (must include 500 word essay, single spaced in APA format) *blog about how much you love giveaways (leave link and pin # for your highest limit credit card)
*tweet about the how much you love shoving bamboo shoots up your finger nails (leave link and spouses SSN)
*follow me to the grocery store and push the cart or the double stroller (no need to identify yourself before you run off with the boys)
*friend me on facebook (leave email address and password)
*honk and yell at a random stranger in a foreign language

2 entries
*call your mom and tell her a secret from your teenage years that she doesn't already know
*lick the ground (include picture and birth certificate)
*do the chicken dance in walmart (must include video and mail in passport)

100 entries
*join my blog frog community and don't be offended when I don't follow you back.

Cool points will be sent via ESPN or something (name the movie), no refunds or exchanges.
**Actual value of cool points are 1/100 of a penny, but are infinitely better than any monetary gain.**

A License to Kill

I may be mistaken, but I swear in our wedding vows I heard..."to love, honor, and kill anything that freaks Mary out..." (actually I don't really remember a lot of what was said, but I'm adding this in if we ever decide to renew our vows)

Last night as I stumbled back to bed joyfully returned from the babies' room I realized nature was calling and turned left into our bathroom. This is when the assault started. A horribly nasty, huge, vicious bug was walking across the floor raced towards me. I yelled "Eric, there is a huge bug in the bathroom!!!" (I might want to point out it was 0200). He groaned and rolled over. Again I yelled, "ERIC!!" I was in dire straights with my life hanging in the balance and he was rolling over and groaning, where is the love??

He eventually stormed leisurely walked into the bathroom picked up the monster with some toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet.

All was well in the world...but I couldn't bring myself to use that toilet, so I went into the spare bathroom. I couldn't get the picture out of my mind of this huge bug swimming back up through the pipes to seek it's revenge (I get goosebumps and the shivers just thinking about it).

I thought that killing things was innately driven into the male species, but I guess it has a time clock, without 24 hr support.

Never say Never

My distaste for cooking is something I don't try to hide. My sister even mentioned that she told her kids to be grateful they have one home cooked meal a day b/c they could be living with me!

It's just not something that I've ever really enjoyed doing on a regular basis. I've always seen it as a mundane chore, therefore I rebel, kick, scream barter to get out of it. I admit that I have, on occasion, enjoyed making dishes for parties or functions. But, the everyday need for this has made me despise cooking like the ever growing piles of laundry that spontaneously multiply (and consequently never makes it out of the basket).

However, I made dinner twice in the past 4 days (and made corn bread & banana bread). Eric has a 4-day weekend, so I signed up to work all 4 days, and I've enjoyed switching roles. Now, I didn't make anything fancy (today I made chicken stir-fry) but when given the option of taking care of the boys or cooking...I chose cooking.

It's nice to have a change of pace, and after 5 straight days of diapers, bottles, and crying...the stove and work was what I needed. (What am I going to do when Eric leaves in September for 3 months?!?!)

Don't be alarmed, this isn't something I plan to take on full time, but it wasn't so bad. After all, I am not ready to give up my throne as the Queen of TV dinners!

The giggles and more

Times, they are a changing...

Over the past week the boys have really started to notice one another and interact with each other. Every morning when they wake up, I put them both in the crib together for what I call "brother-brother time." They always end up turning on their sides facing each other and talk & play for the next 30 minutes or so. This is what I have been waiting for. This brings me hope that once they start moving around more, they will be able to entertain each other...but also get into trouble together.
For some reason the boys enjoy being on the changing table. When we first brought them home they screamed every time their diaper was changed, but now they laugh and squeal. And, as you've seen in previous videos, Eric loves to be silly with them...and only he can make them laugh this hard (I just can't seem to get the same reaction from them).

Also, the boys seem drawn to this panda on their gym toy. We have about a million things hanging from there, but both boys grab (and as shown below) suck on the feet of the Panda...maybe it's the color contrast?

I will NOT be mocked!

Dear cat,

I understand that your life is probably not your choosing. It if was up to you, you'd probably be sitting in someones Florida room, sun bathing, while being fed tuna out of a crystal glass. But guess what, life isn't always fair.

Perfect case and point. Is it fair that when my dog thought he was going into his 'safe' (fenced in) backyard, for his morning stroll, that he would be attacked (by you) the minute he made it out the doggy door? Is it fair that I have to clean up cat poop from my front yard or deal with the horrible smell? Is it fair that I have to deal with the smell of cat pee on the roof of my car, or dirty paw prints down my windshield?? I think not!

It took two days, catching your partner in crime yesterday, and you getting the bait without triggering the trap. But today...you will mock me no longer. You laid in my yard all day yesterday and walked around the trap without getting caught. But today, I WIN!

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu!

How I'm scarring my children for life

I started laughing hysterically when Carter was sucking on his hands so hard that he gagged himself and milk not only came out his mouth, but was shooting out of his nose.

Cooper has such a pretty face, and I've imagined putting a headband with one of those giant bows/flowers and seeing if anyone would be able to tell that he was a boy.

I have been accidentally continuing to call Carter a window licker.

I laughed when Eric was flapping Carter's ears like dumbo and flying him around the living room.

I've given the boys nicknames from characters from Mario Brothers and South Park.

I subject them to the Glee Soundtrack all once a day. And...I sing along and it makes the boys laugh at me smile!!


I don't hold the boys to get them to sleep. I don't have enough arms, and I figure that if they are tired enough, they'll fall asleep without being held.

I let Koa sleep in bed with me, but not the boys.

BUT, I did refuse to let Eric give the boys a high and tight haircut...I told him he had to wait till they were at least 6 mo :o) I should get some points for that, right?

I'm Amazed by You

9 years ago I married My Sexy Beast. It all started the December of 2000 when I noticed a freakishly tall dude at FHE, and was intrigued. He also had a military haircut, which rendered me helpless. My friend that was VERY forward said, "come with me to talk to that guy, he's really cute!" So I did, found out a little about him and nothing more.

Then at a dance that next week they called me up to the DJ's table (where Eric happened to be hanging out) b/c they wanted help picking music to line dance to. I gave them some input and commented that they shouldn't play so many slow songs b/c I was sick of standing around and not dancing. So, that next slow song Eric hopped down from the stage and asked me to dance. We chatted, then after we went out with his cousin and my friend "Rich" (real name: Cindy) to Shari's (like a Denny's but 10x better!!!). We had a great time talking and just hanging out.

Then at the Christmas service Eric sat with me. We talked back and forth for the next few weeks...seeing as he was in Ranger Bn at the time, he was gone a lot!

On Jan 13, 2001 we had our first date. We went to see "Finding Forrester" and it was lame, but I remember how cool it was that when he opened a door for me I literally could walk right under his arm. Height has always been sexy to me.


The there was yet another church dance, but this time Eric ignored me, and asked pretty much everyone else to dance but me. I was furious! So, once I got home I called him and said, "Hey, it's Mary. I thought I made my intentions fairly clear...if not, I like you. Just curious where you stand." (bold right!!) He went on to say how he had just gotten out of a long relationship before me met me and was just looking for friendship. I said okay, but was really hurt. But, thought, okay...let's be friends. I kept my options open and started talking to other guys.

He was out of town for about 10 days, and as leaving my Astronomy class that night I had a voicemail from him. I didn't call him back. The next morning as I was walking to class he called me. I was cordial, but stated that it was cold outside and that is the only place I get reception, so I'd have to call him later. And...I didn't.

I went over to my friends house that afternoon after class as we planned on what we were going to wear to the dance that night when Eric called me. We talked for about 2 hrs, and he asked if I was planning on going to the dance that night. I told him that one of the guys from the singles branch was coming over and we were all going to ride with him to the dance (it was about an hour north). He asked if he could follow us. This surprised me seeing as he was already 30 min north of us, and would be seriously back tracking, but I told him he was welcome to come.

I was determined to look extra cute that night. I curled my hair, put on make up (which I still rarely do) and put on my favorite shirt. When I was done getting ready he was already at my house (my house pretty much had a revolving door for everyone's friends). I said we were all riding with Daniel, but he asked if I would ride with him. I cleared this with my friends, and hopped into his car.

The entire ride I talked with him like I would one of my girlfriends. I told embarrassing stories about my childhood (and teenage years) as did he, and we laughed and listened to country music the whole way.

About 2 min before we reached the church (where the dance was held) Eric says, "Oh, and by the way, I really do like you." I was in SHOCK!! I was rendered speechless and just sat there until the car came to a stop. I hopped out and ran over to my friends and we ran to the bathroom to discuss what just happened (typing this I'm thinking about how stupid all teenage girls act).

I danced mainly with Eric that night, about an hr after being there he wanted to leave, so we headed back to my house. We sat on my couch, watched TV and had our first kiss at my door as he was leaving. (Feb 2nd, BTW)

Eric spent almost every weekend he was home at my house. In March he told me he loved me, and I literally had an asthma attack! We laugh about this now all the time.

In April we were sitting in my room talking about where we thought our relationship was headed, when we hear my little sister through the wall singing:
"Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain't getting no younger, we might as well do it
Been feeling you all the while girl I must confess
Girl let's just get married, I just wanna get married." (Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge)

We both started laughing hysterically. We continued to talk about it over the phone as he left soon after for a school in GA for 6 weeks. And, while he was gone we decided to get married.

I set everything up on my end, picked out invitations, a dress, flowers, cake. And continued to tease him that eventually I would need a ring. Because of his ever changing schedule I had less than two months to plan everything. I went ring "browsing" with a mutual friend of ours and anxiously awaited his return on June 5th (one month before the wedding).

He called me the day before he was coming home and said his mom wanted to come to the airport with me to get him, and he was picking me up some flowers. I thought, whatever, okay. Then when I arrived at his parent's house EVERYONE wanted to come with us. I was quite annoyed (in my defense, I had all four wisdom teeth extracted the week before, I was still swollen and bruised badly, and smelled like clove oil b/c they had to pack the massive holes in my jaw with gauze soaked in Tylenol and clove oil...it was great!). So, we all waited at Gate B5 at SeaTac Airport waiting for his arrival from Atlanta. I sat down and was content. When people started getting off the plane his family kept saying, "aren't you going to greet him?" to which I replied, "I can greet him from here just as much as I can from up there." (can you tell I wasn't in the mood to share my greeting?)

There was a big group of people congregating around the exit talking with their families, and Eric must have been the very last person to get off the plane. He finally appeared and his little sister ran up to him and gave him a big hug. I Then walked up and gave him a hug and a kiss, then turned to leave. He grabbed my hand and when I turned around he was down on one knee. I was shocked. He pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. I said yes and he put the ring on my finger. Then everyone started clapping. I guess everyone figured that a guy carrying flowers on a plane meant something special and decided to stick around to see what was going to happen.

A few minutes later I looked at the ring and was shocked because it was the one I had pointed out to one of our friends when we went browsing. She called Eric and told him he had to buy this specific ring, so he sent her a check to buy it, she mailed it to him in GA (which arrived the day before he left), and so he could propose as soon as he got off the plane.


We were married a month later in the Seattle Temple, and have shared the past 9 years together. We've had our trials, separations due to deployments and schools, and grown together into the amazing couple we are today.

Lonestar's song "Amazed" was very popular when we were dating....and I am truly amazed by my Sexy Beast's ability to make me smile, comfort me, and make my life whole. Happy Anniversary baby!

Visiting friends

For the 4th of July we headed over to Kelly & Carolyn's house to celebrate mine, Eric's and Carolyn's birthdays (they all happen within a week of each other).

Carolyn did some awesome Army decorations for Eric, and I brought Hannah Montana themed everything for Carolyn. We all had a great time, had amazing food...and I'm not just saying that b/c I made awesome baked beans, layered jello, and the best pineapple upside down cake known to man :o) We watched a horrible movie, and talked and talked and talked.

Carter LOVED the fireworks, he squealed and smiled the entire time, but the noise kind of freaked Cooper out.


The next day we invited ourselves over accepted the invitation to visit my buddy from work, Molly. She lives out in the country and I don't ever get to work with her enough, so we did a lot of catching up. I was greeted at the door of my car by her "smiling" dog Zoe, who freaked me out at first, but she was wagging her tail and wasn't growling, so I figured I'd be safe.

I don't know about most of you, but I'm quite scared of most farm animals...especially the one's that are bigger than me. I've been bitten and chased by them throughout my childhood years, so you can imagine how surprised I was that all her animals were nice! Her mule, Rusty, literally followed us the entire time and nudged and bumped until he got the attention he deserved.

I got to hold some brand new baby chickens, play with her kitties, see the snake and tarantula (I get goose bumps just typing that word!), and her dogs. She remembered a conversation we had many moons ago at work, and made me a chocolate haupia pie garnished with homemade whipped cream! I was in heaven, and the boys took a great nap while I was there and were all around on their best behavior.

It was so nice to get out of the house and interact with adults!!

"Bitter Is the New Black" by Jen Lancaster

I finished reading this book in February, but kept forgetting to post about it. It was a riot! It is labeled as "a memoir," and is descriptive enough that the reader can easily imagine each hilarious situation.

Disclaimer: this book does have profanity, which can easily be discovered by reading the front cover: "Bitter Is the New Black: Confessions of a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered Smart-ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office."

Jen was very successful during the 'dot-com' era, but soon finds herself, and her long term boyfriend, unemployed in NYC. They have to start parting with many things that they once considered necessities, and learning to live like the rest of the world.

My favorite part was when she decided to cancel her COBRA because she learned that her boyfriend's employer insured 'domestic partners' which she thought applied to her. After finding out it was referring to gay partners here is her plan:

"..What if you told them I was a guy? Couldn't you go to the benefits office and, you know, swish around a bit? Tell the HR girl that her shoes are fab-u-licious?...Ooh, you could give them my initials for the membership card, and they'll be none the wiser. J. Lancaster could totally be a dude. Correction, a gay dude."

"No."

"They wouldn't be allowed to pry into your private life...the plan is foolproof."

"Your plan is anything but foolproof. What happens when they get a bill from your ob-gyn?"...

Thinking on my feed, I quickly came up with plan B. "Ok, this could still work. You tell them I'm a post-op transsexual. I'll wear that really dark MAC lipstick that makes me look like a drag queen, and they will absolutely believe me."

"You've got to be kidding."

With great solemnity, I told him, "Castration is no joke."

"The answer is still no"

"No, you won't pretend to be gay, or no, you won't claim that I'm a tranny?"

"No to all the above."

She ends this great debate by calling him a "homophobe" and declaring "you suck donkey balls!" (pgs 129, 130)

If this made you laugh, or even smile, you'll get a kick out of this book.

I don't do giveaways, because I'm cheap, but I'd be happy to send it to you to borrow. Sending books media rate via USPS is less than $5, and is way cheaper than buying it (my mom, sisters and I love to send each other books we've enjoyed).