"Bitter Is the New Black" by Jen Lancaster

I finished reading this book in February, but kept forgetting to post about it. It was a riot! It is labeled as "a memoir," and is descriptive enough that the reader can easily imagine each hilarious situation.

Disclaimer: this book does have profanity, which can easily be discovered by reading the front cover: "Bitter Is the New Black: Confessions of a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered Smart-ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office."

Jen was very successful during the 'dot-com' era, but soon finds herself, and her long term boyfriend, unemployed in NYC. They have to start parting with many things that they once considered necessities, and learning to live like the rest of the world.

My favorite part was when she decided to cancel her COBRA because she learned that her boyfriend's employer insured 'domestic partners' which she thought applied to her. After finding out it was referring to gay partners here is her plan:

"..What if you told them I was a guy? Couldn't you go to the benefits office and, you know, swish around a bit? Tell the HR girl that her shoes are fab-u-licious?...Ooh, you could give them my initials for the membership card, and they'll be none the wiser. J. Lancaster could totally be a dude. Correction, a gay dude."

"No."

"They wouldn't be allowed to pry into your private life...the plan is foolproof."

"Your plan is anything but foolproof. What happens when they get a bill from your ob-gyn?"...

Thinking on my feed, I quickly came up with plan B. "Ok, this could still work. You tell them I'm a post-op transsexual. I'll wear that really dark MAC lipstick that makes me look like a drag queen, and they will absolutely believe me."

"You've got to be kidding."

With great solemnity, I told him, "Castration is no joke."

"The answer is still no"

"No, you won't pretend to be gay, or no, you won't claim that I'm a tranny?"

"No to all the above."

She ends this great debate by calling him a "homophobe" and declaring "you suck donkey balls!" (pgs 129, 130)

If this made you laugh, or even smile, you'll get a kick out of this book.

I don't do giveaways, because I'm cheap, but I'd be happy to send it to you to borrow. Sending books media rate via USPS is less than $5, and is way cheaper than buying it (my mom, sisters and I love to send each other books we've enjoyed).