The Threatdown: this week's list of what is destroying America

I can't claim the fame for the Threatdown. I am a HUGE fan of Stephen Colbert and his satirical humor, so here is my version of the Threatdown.

5. People that have medical problems that I, as a student, can't do anything about

-when I am given a Pt with a serious medical disorder I expect to provide a certain level of care so I can write it down 13 times on the 13 different forms I have to turn in to my instructor. So, when they aren't getting the normal treatments all I can really do is ask them how they feel and make sure they are comfortable. So, sick people, please start to fall within that normal sickly realm so MY life can be a little easier.

4. The Stock Market

-it's very sad when your very small retirement account dimishes over $8000 in little under a year. I finally took everyone advice and used banks and the market instead of burying my $ where it is safe...and stays safe b/c I always forget to make a map or misplace the map for my map. Some of us want to eventually stop working, so start working so I don't have to.

3. Politicians

-there is always a new scandal or story breaking everyday about how McCain/Palin did this or how Obama/& the other guy did that...their plans...and how it will cause the end of civilization as we know it. Instead of a 3 million dollar prize for new energy efficiency in cars, how about a 3 million dollar prize for a device that gives you an automatic "good guy" "bad guy" reading. I would buy one...but then the machines would start to plot against the human race and we would be extinct before global warming could finish what we started.

2. Women that don't wear bras

-seriously...you like the looks of disgust when you walk by, b/c I don't like giving them. It is distracting not only for men...but I don't I can't help but wish someone would tell her "your boobs are sagging, let me show you to lingerie." We're at war, pick a side!

And the #1 threat destroying America is:

1. The internet

-what happened to good old fashioned pencil & paper? All my testing & assignments are done online now...and even when I had a real exam, it was graded by a computer. It's only a matter of time before we become the servants and the struggle for machine domination is over...just like Planet of the Apes.

Well, there you have it. And let me clarify, this is all in good fun and is nonsense on purpose. If you haven't seen an episode of The Colbert Report, you are missing out. It airs on Comedy Central M-Th @1130 (with re-runs the following day @ earlier times).